"Too Much Birthday"

Before The Berenstain Bears was a popular kids' show on YTV, it was a very collectable book series written around valuable life lessons that every kid needs.  In one of my favorites, Sister Bear has 'Too Much Birthday' and it's all because of Papa Bear, who just wants the best for his little girl.  I get it, I get it all too well.  Thanks Stan and Jan - you taught me something before I even realized I needed to be taught something!

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I have many fond birthday party memories from my childhood.  I remember waiting on the front step in my party dress and I remember choosing which cake, Mom was going to make: cat, bear or butterfly. I remember worrying about the correct Cotton Candy to Cream Soda Pic-a-Pop ratio and later, I remember worrying about which 8 kids would be the best popularity combination to invite.  When I started having sleepovers, I remember my Dad losing his mind over *MY* volume level at 1:00 AM and All Dressed chips still remind me of ‘morning after’ snacks, especially if they’re good and stale.  My birthday is June 28, most often my party was also a ‘school’s out’ celebration.  They were fun!  And they were simple.

My 8th birthday. 

Both my girls were born in the fall.  Fall babies are great because you can hibernate when they’re newborns and because they save you a bit of childcare money too.  The disadvantage to that is your kid will be one of the first in the school year to have a birthday party.  No pressure, Mom.

My sister's 3rd birthday.

Big C’s first ‘kid’ birthday party was in Kindergarten.  We invited one school friend (the only Mom I had gotten to know in the short one month) two preschool friends and the other 4 were life friends.  They came over, we wore fancy outfits, played homemade fancy games, ate a fancy lunch and called it a day.  Two hours and a whole lot of fancy.  Cheap, quick, fun.

My kid is extremely friendly (and probably outright asks for invitations on the playground) so she has been invited to many parties in her two full years of school.  In grade 1, she was invited to 18 parties!  There are 60 students in her grade at her school, which averages an entirely new class each year for the past three.  Out of the 16 parties she attended last year, only two were in-home.  Despite my best efforts to set the bar at simple in the beginning of each year, in the past 3 years, I am quite sure my kid has been to every birthday party venue the city has to offer!

What is up with that Moms?  I mean, renting the Y or the community centre due to lack of space or the world’s largest family is one thing, but I’ve looked into the prices of some of these places and I’ve got to tell you, they do NOT fit into our birthday party budget!  By the time we spend $15-20/gift on all her friends’ parties, there is not a whole lot left for her party!  When did this start happening?

Is it because the schools have taken on this ‘all inclusive’ policy where you can’t send the invitations to school unless you’re going to invite the whole class?  Is it because every savvy businessman in the city has added a birthday party package to every possible activity/venue available?  I understand the simplicity of showing up somewhere and writing a cheque when it’s all said and done, but you still have to coordinate food, and cake and even if you don’t, that is one. big. ass. cheque!  I know you want it to stop!  Let's all stop together!

Kids don’t need all the fluff that comes with birthday parties these days.  They want to be the centre of attention among their friends for a few hours, they want to eat junk food, and they want a group of people they love to sing to them for 30 seconds.  The fluff is for the parents’ Facebook account! (Guilty, as charged.)  

And I don’t really feel like hearing ‘Well, you’re at home...’  Because I hear that, waaaaaaaaaaay too often and quite frankly, I can never find the words to argue this point without it sounding like ‘blah blah blah, I swear I don’t watch stories and eat bon bons all day’ (OK, clearly another blog post is needed...I digress)  I grew up with the ‘Latch Key’ generation and out of (actually) all my friends, I had the only Stay at Home Mom.  I went to ONE bowling lane birthday party, ONE baseball in the park birthday, ONE movie theatre party and ONE McDonald’s party before I was 10.  All the others were home parties.  We painted faces, played musical chairs, ate boiled hot dogs, sniffed smelly markers until our noses were black, and ONCE my friend even had a piñata!!!  We might be ‘busier’ than we were in the 80’s but seriously, this ‘no time’ excuse is getting pretty frickin’ old.

We put Big C’s party together this year in approximately 6 hours from planning to take down for under $150.  We prepared for 12 kids and partied with 10.  I’ve priced out a couple different venues and a similar party would easily be double that amount, with crap food & junkie goodie bags.

How did we do it?  For the finer details, make sure to come back for next week’s post, but I will say this:  I have a BD who has worn a top hat to serve tea, has hand drawn a Pin the Tail on the Whale game AND he specializes in 20 minute party clean ups.  He does it all without dropping his wine glass too!  I have sisters who will help if I ask, a well stocked pantry and a daycare craft cupboard. 

 

Even with my ‘keep it simple’ goal, I still stress out every year about the guest list; I never want any of the kids to feel left out!  But when I realized that I was worrying about it more than Big C, I gave her a number and within minutes she gave me her list.  She also told me that she’ll just have to tell some of her friends that her Mom said 10.  Holy shit – am I raising a reasonable human being who can solve her own problems?  And guess what?  I think YOU are too!  Seriously, let's all cut back on the guest list together!  OK?

We gave in last year, and let Little C have a ‘kid’ birthday party a year earlier than Big C did.  Ask the other Moms how thrown together it was.  I literally hung one streamer, served grilled cheese sandwiches and all they did was play.  She was sooooo happy when they sang to her!  She STILL talks about her Superman cake!  This year, she asked for a tea party, a total of 5 friends and her special supper on ‘family day’ will be chicken noodle soup. 

Mom did it for me.  Now it's my turn!

I guess what I’m trying to say here is a couple things.  First, THANK YOU to every parent who has thrown a party at an extravagant venue.  You have given my kid experiences that she for sure would not have had otherwise.  She always comes home happy and tired!  Second, the kids have loads of fun no matter what type of party you put on, because they just want to be together, so don’t stress out about budget, or fluff or anything above and beyond what you loved as a kid.  Because I really, really, really, really, really, really believe that if we all just tone it down in the parenting community and keep things a little more simple, life will get easier.  Also – don’t forget, only a few years left of this, then we move into SLEEPOVERS!!!!!

Looking for more sanity?  I can make you feel normal every day if you stop by my Facebook Page!  www.facebook.com/mommydoesntsharechocolate  

I'm also on Pinterest!  www.pinterest.com/nochocolate4u

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