I have been sitting on this write up for weeks. I really wanted this piece to be perfectly
written for you. But then I remembered
that I’ve been writing for ME and that while this whole blog business is
probably pretty enjoyable for you guys, at the end of the day, this Mama uses
this process as a bit of therapy. And
obviously, by process, I mean scribbling notes while eating the Kit Kat bars I
bought 6 weeks early for Halloween, and drinking wine straight from the bottle
because I am too lazy to run upstairs and get a glass. It's long. Here we go.
I recently came across the Advice Book my Mom passed around
at the Baby Shower she put on for us when we had Big C. I was very happy that day and as a new Mom, I
was extremely excited to read that book!
YAAAAAAAAAY! SOMEONE IS FINALLY GOING TO TEACH ME HOW TO BE A MOM!
- Babies love to be swaddled.
- Put a warm water bottle in baby’s crib for a few minutes before you put her in it.
- Treasure every moment, they grow far too fast.
- Always take corners in 2nd gear, when you’re driving a standard car. (I have some very funny friends!)
- If you can’t figure out what’s wrong, put her in the tub! Babies love water!
- Take time for yourself.
- A rounded pair of scissors is a must-have for the change table. Sometimes you’ve just got to cut the poop off!
- Sleep when she sleeps.
- Just follow your heart.
Did you roll your eyes at that last one too? I know I did when I first read it! Then I became unreasonably annoyed. Why couldn’t Mom’s friends have given me
something more usable? What the hell
does ‘follow your heart’ even mean? I
was 24, with no Mommy friends, and at the time, my selfish “heart” was telling
me to leave Big C with my Mom for the weekend so I could get some damn
sleep! Follow your heart! Yeesh!
Fast forward, 6 years later.
Nine of my friends joined the Mommy ranks in 2013. AND BOY WERE THEY LUCKY TO HAVE ME! As a six year vet of the Mommy Club, I could
give them all the advice and guidance they needed! I knew the best baby gadgets to own and I
could confidently offer my babysitting services because, “I’ve done this
already!” Plus, I give THE BEST baby
gifts. I like to give books and I spent
a TON of time at McNally Robinson. I
noticed something very interesting at McNally last year though and in turn,
came to a very crazy realization.
Between what I’ve forgotten and how things have changed, I’m not the pro
I thought I was!
It seems as though there have been some super savvy Moms
joining the dark side in the past 6 years!
They are seriously CASHING
IN! McNally has an entire section of
their store dedicated to parenting crap!
When Little C was born, Sophie the Giraffe was all the rage, but have
you seen the shelves now? This is just
the tip of the iceberg you guys: Breast feeding cover-ups, breast feeding SHIRTS, mesh bags
for teething babies that you put frozen fruit in, fabric snack bags,
leather/magnetic bibs, LUG Diaper Bags, designer swaddling blankets, 70
thousand different baby carriers, bottle warmers...
Some of it is quite genius – the leather magnetic bib for
example – I hope that Mompreneur gets as rich as the Spanx lady! But some of it is just crappy baby
paraphernalia you might use for 6 months and then store away and forget about
it until the new and improved version comes along and you buy it instead.
Skip ahead a bit – to NOW.
I think many Moms think that asking questions might make
others think that you have no idea what they’re doing. And I think that is why so many Mommys have a
problem with ‘unwanted advice.’ They
think that if someone is offering advice, it might look like they need it. And if they ASK FOR IT? Oh Man!
What will people think? Things
worked a little different for me though.
I had no issues asking questions and telling people I was
scrambling.
But even with my stories of mistakes and screw ups, my New
to Mommy-hood friends still asked me about a couple things.
One friend asked me how long I irrationally cried about
stupid things while postpartum. I
willingly shared that Little C was 8 months when BD came home from work to find
me crying in the closet for the last time, but I am still known to explode with
emotion every 3 months or so. As Mommys
our hormones are screwed up for life and sometimes I’m a complete psycho path.
Another asked me if I thought she was normal for wanting to
go back to work so bad. I told her how I
spent my entire maternity leave waiting for the moment when I didn’t want to go
back to work. When it didn’t come, for a brief second, I felt like a bad Mom,
and then I got in the car and was 45 minutes early for work for the first 3
months I was back. N-O-R-M-A-L!
But normal questions aside, I’ve got two major pieces of
advice that I want to share with the world.
Wanted or not. And once you hear
me out, I think you will agree that they will make a difference for you.
Unwanted Advice Part I
The first is about the ‘stuff’. Mostly because no one has ever asked me about
it, so I really just want to voice my opinion.
STOP BUYING THE STUFF! There is nothing in the baby/parenting specialty
stores that you neeeeeeeeed to raise a baby.
You don’t need the $600 jumping/swinging/vibrating contraption and you
don’t need the fancy schmancy nursery with the change table, and coordinated
wall decals and window coverings. Gifts
are one thing, but society is spending way too much money on baby crap. Stick to the basics and keep it simple. Borrow, swap, give, loan. Put the money towards college or spend it
when they’re old enough to enjoy it! Less
stuff also helps the environment and
I know as parents, you’re all concerned about the effects of our over
consumption of everything on our
planet.
Unwanted Advice Part II
 |
| I just came back from NYC and I had a secret fantasy that Brandon from Humans of New York would find me in Central Park and ask me what advice I would give to a huge group of people and I would share my next thought. Maybe next time. |
When we started feeding Big C solid foods (spring 2008), I
spoke with her pediatrician and picked up the book A Baby’s Table because I
fully intended to make all her food myself.
At the time, the recommendations were cereals mixed with formula for
iron, starting with rice and introducing more complex grains weekly until ready
for other foods. Then we started with
sweet potatoes and other root vegetables, moving in to fruit and then meat,
which we needed to mix with root vegetables so she’d eat. No allergens were introduced until after 12
months. No egg, nuts, strawberries,
cow’s milk or honey, because it will increase their chances of developing a
food allergy.
When I met with our pediatrician when Little C was ready for
solid foods, I actually corrected her because I thought she misspoke when she told
me to start with meat. Still no
allergens until after 12 months.
Now, with baby lead weaning being a popular parenting trend,
parents are choosing to go with cubed cooked vegetables and fruit first, while
pediatricians are still recommending the meat.
The difference THIS time around, is everyone is introducing allergens
sooner, so babies have a better chance of developing immunity and fighting food
allergies.
In the seven years that I have been a Mom, the solid food
recommendations have changed three times.
Hospitals are no longer encouraging parents to swaddle and car seat guidelines
are constantly being updated too. Do you understand what I am trying to
say? In the world of ‘How to raise a
baby,’ nobody has a CLUE what is going on.
What it boils down to is this:
YOU NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
You need to listen to your gut.
About everything! The words sound
like a cheesy, ‘I couldn’t think of anything’ line, written in an Advice Book from a baby shower,
but I tell you what, looking back now, that was the single best piece of advice
I received. I really, REALLY hope you
read this and that it doesn’t take you long to see that I’m right. That YOU are right. Because no matter what, you want to do what
is best for you and your children and now more than ever we have the ability to educate ourselves.
Are you looking for your sanity too? Join me on Facebook! www.facebook.com/mommydoesntsharechocolate I'm also on Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/nochocolate4u
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