Sometimes I Drink at Soccer

If you ask to see Big C’s soccer picture, she will proudly climb up the entertainment unit to pull it down, while telling you she scored ‘over a hundred’ goals this year.  When you ask Little C, she’ll start with “Ummm...” and then Big C will cut her off with “She scored lots, but not as many as me.”

I know this because I have seen it happen twice in the last month.  And no, neither of them scored ‘a hundred goals’ this year.  

Lately, everything has become a competition around here and I’ve spent a fair amount of time wondering why.  Until last week that is, when I had to stop myself from cheating at Dogopoly four different times!

As it turns out, BD and I are raising girls that scream at the TV when Fifa is on and run around the dining room table when they win at Memory.  They’ve witnessed BD’s countless ‘winner dances’ and most recently stood in shock as I ‘Hammer Timed’ my amazing come-from-behind Scrabble victory at the lake.  

Double Word Score after a Triple Letter Score with Q!!!  75 POINTS BITCHES!!!

 I hide behind this computer to proudly state:  WE DON’T LET OUR KIDS WIN AT STUFF.  In our house, winning is fun.  It’s fun and it doesn’t come easy, so you have to work hard.  Sometimes you might work hard and still not win, but if you don’t pick up your socks and try again, it will never happen.  

Some people might think that’s a little harsh.  Truth be told, I do feel bad sometimes when Big C storms off to her room, crying, because her Dad took her Queen or when Little C’s Hippo wasn’t as hungry as the others.  They’re kids.  They’re still learning how to deal with disappointment.  Heck, I’M still learning.  So I can’t deny we’re still working on how to lose without melting down.  But the beauty of really competing with them is that when they win, they really win!  The first time I saw Big C ‘ride the bull’ because she got the puck past on her Dad in driveway hockey, was a-w-e-s-o-m-e and I wouldn’t have wanted that to happen any other way!  Guess what?  When winning is fun, they'll want to do it.

We weren’t always this way.  When Big C played soccer at age 3, she was mainly concerned with how many dandelions she could pick and who’s turn it was to bring snack.  We vowed to never do it that way again.  Commence HIGHLY COMPETITIVE PARENTING STYLE.  (You'll want to take notes for this part.)

Your season will start off positive because you’ll feel like a good parent just for signing them up.

1. They’ll be included because EVERYONE plays soccer.
2.  They’ll be physically active (aka they’ll go to bed early)

But I can almost guarantee you’ll spend the majority of the season, hoping for rain.  

I spent every Tuesday and Thursday of May and June hoping the blue skies would change to storm clouds and a miraculous flash flood would cancel soccer.  It was the most aggravating 16 nights of my entire life.  Not because of my own kids, we've already made the adjustment, but because of the families who were in the same boat we were 3 years ago.  It’s called the ‘show up and have fun who cares if you actually play soccer’ boat.

In case you don’t know, only lightening cancels big-kid soccer.  So, we’d sit in the cold and the rain and watch Big C and the rest of her team be silly and giggle and not listen to the coach.  I am not joking.  One game they were playing on the play structure between shifts and the parents would have to pull them back into the game.  That was the game Big C claims to have scored 10 goals.  Yes, we’re the hard asses that made our kid focus on soccer.  SHE HAD A GOAL QUOTA TO FILL.

When littles play organized sports, we spend a lot of time asking them to score because that is an easy way to encourage engagement, but I am 100% certain that Little C’s motivation to score goals and actually PLAY soccer came from her competitive attitude towards her sister who repeatedly came home to say ‘we won!’ or ‘I scored!’

Thanks to our new "motivating parenting style" and her sister’s stats, this year of 3 year old soccer, wasn't all that bad.  Little C was the only kid on her team who showed up to actually play each week, but at least she was playing!  Two of the kids always seemed to be too busy practicing ninja moves and the smallest of the five of them was actually only 30 months – but next year his Mom was thinking, he’d like to try an art program over an organized sport anyways.  So yeah, she had the ball a lot.  She took it all the way down the field a lot.  And she scored a lot too.  Did she know she was the only one playing?  Maybe.  Did she have fun?  Without a doubt.  She was playing soccer!  So when she received the same ‘participation medal’ as the two ninjas and the budding artist, I exclaimed my pride, thanked the coach and told her she was THE BEST little soccer player I had ever seen.  Which means she will probably want to play again next year.

Shit.

S

P.S. I need to say this:  the coaches were amazing!  As a very patient person, I’ll say that they do what I could never and for that, they deserve a HUGE thank you!  Thank you for coming back each week!  Because that would have been too much for even me!

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