Birthday Parties 101

We are an in-home birthday party kind of family.  Not only because it costs less, but because it is actually what my kids want.  This year I asked Big C what kind of birthday party she wanted and the only thing she was specific about was that she didn't want to have 'birthday' cake, otherwise she was perfectly happy to have her friends over.

WELL THIS OVER THE TOP MOM SAYS - NO WAY!

So I 'helped' her get excited about a Painting Party, knowing that it would be messier than our previous Fancy Nancy or Under the Sea themes, but remembering that organized activities make a huge difference when it comes to preventing running and screaming.
 
Here is how it all went down.

 Invitations

Unless you invite the whole class, my kid's school doesn't want birthday party invitations making their way to the classroom.  That means I can send a quick e-mail to all the Moms about 2 weeks in advance.  I never waste time putting together a fancy invitation, it's the least important part of the party.  This year, although I reeeaaally wanted to, we didn't invite kids simply because she went to their party last year (I don't ever want anyone to feel left out!)  We gave her a max number and she made a list of her friends.  She wasn't even worried about some of the kids feeling left out.  "I'll just say my Mom said 8!"  Once we received a few declines, we added friends to the list.  In total we had 10 kids.  Entirely manageable for a couple hours (with a couple bottles of wine.)

Food

I have a fully stocked pantry so I didn't have to run out and do an entirely separate grocery shop for the party.  Outside of a fruit tray and a couple extra vegetables, the only additional grocery items I bought were pocketless pitas which I used for pizza crusts and a tube of pepperoni.  Our grocery bill was approximately $35.

We served:

Personal pepperoni pizzas (I made 12 in about 20 minutes - we had loads of leftovers), a fruit tray (honeydew, cantaloupe, pineapple, red grapes) and various veggies with ranch dip (cucumbers, snap peas, carrots.)  To drink, they were offered iced tea or milk.  Shocking how many chose milk!!

Activities

Besides gift opening, we had 3 other activities planned.  The major project was a piece of art that was to be part of their take-home gift.  I had some awesome friends 'donate' old shirts for smocks and they each filled their own dollar store canvas with water color.  Through a series of unfortunate events, I only use Crayola color supplies at my house, so annoyingly the paints were the most expensive part of this party at about $40.  But cost aside, I now have a year's supply of water colors for my daycare craft cupboard.  After the $1 canvases were full of water and paint, we drizzled glitter glue all over them and sprinkled them with table salt.  The results were pretty darn cool.  Here's the pin:  http://www.pinterest.com/pin/539798705311834899/

When it was time to clean up, the kids scooted downstairs for some freeze tag, more accurately ran and screamed and 7-year-old-flirted with BD, and I set up for the next activity, more accurately put up a piece of poster board and took a few sips of wine.

The second game involved the kids drawing a portrait of Big C while they were blind folded.  THERE WAS SO MUCH LAUGHTER. I had written 12 special things about Big C on draw slips and each kid took a turn adding them to the portrait.  "Big C has long eyelashes," "Big C has pink stripes on her dress," "Big C has a freckle above her lip."   They had a ton of fun.  The poster board cost me $3, because naturally, I needed the one with the glitter frame.

The whole time my kick-ass sister was helping out, so for a little while, she ran the 3rd activity which was the Photo Booth. It was basically a basket full of silly costume accessories, an over-sized picture frame and a collection of dollar store table cloths as the back drop.  I then used the table cloths for mess preventives at daycare for all of our holiday crafts.  A GENIUS $8.

Two hours went very quickly with those three things alone and before we knew it, it was time for gifts and cake.  LB and I set the table up for cake while Big C opened her gifts and BD tried to maintain a bit of order in determining who gave what.  One mom gave a #7 sparkler with her gift and I was SOOOOO happy, because to be honest, we would have had to use tea lights! 

The Cake

I usually go all 'Buddy Valastro' on the cake because I looooooove to midnight bake, but recently Big C has decided that she doesn't like 'birthday cake' and we were kind of going with a rainbow theme.  So I kept it simple with an ooey gooey brownie and an icing technique I like to call 'DON'T FAIL ME NOW PINTEREST!'  Visit my board http://www.pinterest.com/nochocolate4u/midnight-baking-with-wine/ for more decorating tips enhanced with vodka paralyzers.

The Goodie Bags

I don't know about you guys, but I am tired of my kids bringing home POS plastic toys and candy that I'm never going to let them eat anyways, and quite frankly the environment is tired of it too.  So I put in a bit of extra effort (aka - I crafted while watching a couple episodes of How I Met Your Mother) and pushed out a few cutsie, usable gifts that cost me a grand total of...wait for it...$3.00 each.  They also took home their art projects.

You guys, this was so easy and SO fun.  10 kids, 3 hours, >$150.  Not. too. shabby!  Pinterest really does make my world a better place!

S

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"Too Much Birthday"

Before The Berenstain Bears was a popular kids' show on YTV, it was a very collectable book series written around valuable life lessons that every kid needs.  In one of my favorites, Sister Bear has 'Too Much Birthday' and it's all because of Papa Bear, who just wants the best for his little girl.  I get it, I get it all too well.  Thanks Stan and Jan - you taught me something before I even realized I needed to be taught something!

_____

I have many fond birthday party memories from my childhood.  I remember waiting on the front step in my party dress and I remember choosing which cake, Mom was going to make: cat, bear or butterfly. I remember worrying about the correct Cotton Candy to Cream Soda Pic-a-Pop ratio and later, I remember worrying about which 8 kids would be the best popularity combination to invite.  When I started having sleepovers, I remember my Dad losing his mind over *MY* volume level at 1:00 AM and All Dressed chips still remind me of ‘morning after’ snacks, especially if they’re good and stale.  My birthday is June 28, most often my party was also a ‘school’s out’ celebration.  They were fun!  And they were simple.

My 8th birthday. 

Both my girls were born in the fall.  Fall babies are great because you can hibernate when they’re newborns and because they save you a bit of childcare money too.  The disadvantage to that is your kid will be one of the first in the school year to have a birthday party.  No pressure, Mom.

My sister's 3rd birthday.

Big C’s first ‘kid’ birthday party was in Kindergarten.  We invited one school friend (the only Mom I had gotten to know in the short one month) two preschool friends and the other 4 were life friends.  They came over, we wore fancy outfits, played homemade fancy games, ate a fancy lunch and called it a day.  Two hours and a whole lot of fancy.  Cheap, quick, fun.

My kid is extremely friendly (and probably outright asks for invitations on the playground) so she has been invited to many parties in her two full years of school.  In grade 1, she was invited to 18 parties!  There are 60 students in her grade at her school, which averages an entirely new class each year for the past three.  Out of the 16 parties she attended last year, only two were in-home.  Despite my best efforts to set the bar at simple in the beginning of each year, in the past 3 years, I am quite sure my kid has been to every birthday party venue the city has to offer!

What is up with that Moms?  I mean, renting the Y or the community centre due to lack of space or the world’s largest family is one thing, but I’ve looked into the prices of some of these places and I’ve got to tell you, they do NOT fit into our birthday party budget!  By the time we spend $15-20/gift on all her friends’ parties, there is not a whole lot left for her party!  When did this start happening?

Is it because the schools have taken on this ‘all inclusive’ policy where you can’t send the invitations to school unless you’re going to invite the whole class?  Is it because every savvy businessman in the city has added a birthday party package to every possible activity/venue available?  I understand the simplicity of showing up somewhere and writing a cheque when it’s all said and done, but you still have to coordinate food, and cake and even if you don’t, that is one. big. ass. cheque!  I know you want it to stop!  Let's all stop together!

Kids don’t need all the fluff that comes with birthday parties these days.  They want to be the centre of attention among their friends for a few hours, they want to eat junk food, and they want a group of people they love to sing to them for 30 seconds.  The fluff is for the parents’ Facebook account! (Guilty, as charged.)  

And I don’t really feel like hearing ‘Well, you’re at home...’  Because I hear that, waaaaaaaaaaay too often and quite frankly, I can never find the words to argue this point without it sounding like ‘blah blah blah, I swear I don’t watch stories and eat bon bons all day’ (OK, clearly another blog post is needed...I digress)  I grew up with the ‘Latch Key’ generation and out of (actually) all my friends, I had the only Stay at Home Mom.  I went to ONE bowling lane birthday party, ONE baseball in the park birthday, ONE movie theatre party and ONE McDonald’s party before I was 10.  All the others were home parties.  We painted faces, played musical chairs, ate boiled hot dogs, sniffed smelly markers until our noses were black, and ONCE my friend even had a piñata!!!  We might be ‘busier’ than we were in the 80’s but seriously, this ‘no time’ excuse is getting pretty frickin’ old.

We put Big C’s party together this year in approximately 6 hours from planning to take down for under $150.  We prepared for 12 kids and partied with 10.  I’ve priced out a couple different venues and a similar party would easily be double that amount, with crap food & junkie goodie bags.

How did we do it?  For the finer details, make sure to come back for next week’s post, but I will say this:  I have a BD who has worn a top hat to serve tea, has hand drawn a Pin the Tail on the Whale game AND he specializes in 20 minute party clean ups.  He does it all without dropping his wine glass too!  I have sisters who will help if I ask, a well stocked pantry and a daycare craft cupboard. 

 

Even with my ‘keep it simple’ goal, I still stress out every year about the guest list; I never want any of the kids to feel left out!  But when I realized that I was worrying about it more than Big C, I gave her a number and within minutes she gave me her list.  She also told me that she’ll just have to tell some of her friends that her Mom said 10.  Holy shit – am I raising a reasonable human being who can solve her own problems?  And guess what?  I think YOU are too!  Seriously, let's all cut back on the guest list together!  OK?

We gave in last year, and let Little C have a ‘kid’ birthday party a year earlier than Big C did.  Ask the other Moms how thrown together it was.  I literally hung one streamer, served grilled cheese sandwiches and all they did was play.  She was sooooo happy when they sang to her!  She STILL talks about her Superman cake!  This year, she asked for a tea party, a total of 5 friends and her special supper on ‘family day’ will be chicken noodle soup. 

Mom did it for me.  Now it's my turn!

I guess what I’m trying to say here is a couple things.  First, THANK YOU to every parent who has thrown a party at an extravagant venue.  You have given my kid experiences that she for sure would not have had otherwise.  She always comes home happy and tired!  Second, the kids have loads of fun no matter what type of party you put on, because they just want to be together, so don’t stress out about budget, or fluff or anything above and beyond what you loved as a kid.  Because I really, really, really, really, really, really believe that if we all just tone it down in the parenting community and keep things a little more simple, life will get easier.  Also – don’t forget, only a few years left of this, then we move into SLEEPOVERS!!!!!

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S
 

The Best Unwanted Advice I Can Give You

I have been sitting on this write up for weeks.  I really wanted this piece to be perfectly written for you.  But then I remembered that I’ve been writing for ME and that while this whole blog business is probably pretty enjoyable for you guys, at the end of the day, this Mama uses this process as a bit of therapy.  And obviously, by process, I mean scribbling notes while eating the Kit Kat bars I bought 6 weeks early for Halloween, and drinking wine straight from the bottle because I am too lazy to run upstairs and get a glass.  It's long.  Here we go.

I recently came across the Advice Book my Mom passed around at the Baby Shower she put on for us when we had Big C.  I was very happy that day and as a new Mom, I was extremely excited to read that book!  YAAAAAAAAAY!  SOMEONE IS FINALLY GOING TO TEACH ME HOW TO BE A MOM!

• Babies love to be swaddled.
• Put a warm water bottle in baby’s crib for a few minutes before you put her in it.
• Treasure every moment, they grow far too fast.
• Always take corners in 2nd gear, when you’re driving a standard car.  (I have some very funny friends!)
• If you can’t figure out what’s wrong, put her in the tub!  Babies love water!
• Take time for yourself.
• A rounded pair of scissors is a must-have for the change table.  Sometimes you’ve just got to cut the poop off!
• Sleep when she sleeps.
• Just follow your heart.

Did you roll your eyes at that last one too?  I know I did when I first read it!  Then I became unreasonably annoyed.  Why couldn’t Mom’s friends have given me something more usable?  What the hell does ‘follow your heart’ even mean?  I was 24, with no Mommy friends, and at the time, my selfish “heart” was telling me to leave Big C with my Mom for the weekend so I could get some damn sleep!  Follow your heart!  Yeesh!

Fast forward, 6 years later.

Nine of my friends joined the Mommy ranks in 2013.  AND BOY WERE THEY LUCKY TO HAVE ME!  As a six year vet of the Mommy Club, I could give them all the advice and guidance they needed!  I knew the best baby gadgets to own and I could confidently offer my babysitting services because, “I’ve done this already!”  Plus, I give THE BEST baby gifts.  I like to give books and I spent a TON of time at McNally Robinson.  I noticed something very interesting at McNally last year though and in turn, came to a very crazy realization.  Between what I’ve forgotten and how things have changed, I’m not the pro I thought I was!

It seems as though there have been some super savvy Moms joining the dark side in the past 6 years!  They are seriously CASHING IN!  McNally has an entire section of their store dedicated to parenting crap!  When Little C was born, Sophie the Giraffe was all the rage, but have you seen the shelves now?  This is just the tip of the iceberg you guys:  Breast feeding cover-ups, breast feeding SHIRTS, mesh bags for teething babies that you put frozen fruit in, fabric snack bags, leather/magnetic bibs, LUG Diaper Bags, designer swaddling blankets, 70 thousand different baby carriers, bottle warmers...

Some of it is quite genius – the leather magnetic bib for example – I hope that Mompreneur gets as rich as the Spanx lady!  But some of it is just crappy baby paraphernalia you might use for 6 months and then store away and forget about it until the new and improved version comes along and you buy it instead.

Skip ahead a bit – to NOW.  

I think many Moms think that asking questions might make others think that you have no idea what they’re doing.  And I think that is why so many Mommys have a problem with ‘unwanted advice.’  They think that if someone is offering advice, it might look like they need it.  And if they ASK FOR IT?  Oh Man!  What will people think?  Things worked a little different for me though.  I had no issues asking questions and telling people I was scrambling.  

But even with my stories of mistakes and screw ups, my New to Mommy-hood friends still asked me about a couple things.  

One friend asked me how long I irrationally cried about stupid things while postpartum.  I willingly shared that Little C was 8 months when BD came home from work to find me crying in the closet for the last time, but I am still known to explode with emotion every 3 months or so.  As Mommys our hormones are screwed up for life and sometimes I’m a complete psycho path.

Another asked me if I thought she was normal for wanting to go back to work so bad.  I told her how I spent my entire maternity leave waiting for the moment when I didn’t want to go back to work. When it didn’t come, for a brief second, I felt like a bad Mom, and then I got in the car and was 45 minutes early for work for the first 3 months I was back.  N-O-R-M-A-L!  

But normal questions aside, I’ve got two major pieces of advice that I want to share with the world.  Wanted or not.  And once you hear me out, I think you will agree that they will make a difference for you.

Unwanted Advice Part I

The first is about the ‘stuff’.  Mostly because no one has ever asked me about it, so I really just want to voice my opinion.  STOP BUYING THE STUFF!  There is nothing in the baby/parenting specialty stores that you neeeeeeeeed to raise a baby.  You don’t need the $600 jumping/swinging/vibrating contraption and you don’t need the fancy schmancy nursery with the change table, and coordinated wall decals and window coverings.  Gifts are one thing, but society is spending way too much money on baby crap.  Stick to the basics and keep it simple.   Borrow, swap, give, loan.  Put the money towards college or spend it when they’re old enough to enjoy it!  Less stuff also helps the environment and I know as parents, you’re all concerned about the effects of our over consumption of everything on our planet.

Unwanted Advice Part II

I just came back from NYC and I had a secret fantasy that Brandon from Humans of New York would find me in Central Park and ask me what advice I would give to a huge group of people and I would share my next thought. Maybe next time.

When we started feeding Big C solid foods (spring 2008), I spoke with her pediatrician and picked up the book A Baby’s Table because I fully intended to make all her food myself.  At the time, the recommendations were cereals mixed with formula for iron, starting with rice and introducing more complex grains weekly until ready for other foods.  Then we started with sweet potatoes and other root vegetables, moving in to fruit and then meat, which we needed to mix with root vegetables so she’d eat.  No allergens were introduced until after 12 months.  No egg, nuts, strawberries, cow’s milk or honey, because it will increase their chances of developing a food allergy.

When I met with our pediatrician when Little C was ready for solid foods, I actually corrected her because I thought she misspoke when she told me to start with meat.  Still no allergens until after 12 months.

Now, with baby lead weaning being a popular parenting trend, parents are choosing to go with cubed cooked vegetables and fruit first, while pediatricians are still recommending the meat.   The difference THIS time around, is everyone is introducing allergens sooner, so babies have a better chance of developing immunity and fighting food allergies.

In the seven years that I have been a Mom, the solid food recommendations have changed three times.  Hospitals are no longer encouraging parents to swaddle and car seat guidelines are constantly being updated too. Do you understand what I am trying to say?  In the world of ‘How to raise a baby,’ nobody has a CLUE what is going on.  What it boils down to is this:  YOU NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART.  You need to listen to your gut.  About everything!  The words sound like a cheesy, ‘I couldn’t think of anything’ line, written in an Advice Book from a baby shower, but I tell you what, looking back now, that was the single best piece of advice I received.  I really, REALLY hope you read this and that it doesn’t take you long to see that I’m right.  That YOU are right.  Because no matter what, you want to do what is best for you and your children and now more than ever we have the ability to educate ourselves.

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S

A Really Big Thank You Note

I am writing this post from seat 14F of West Jet flight 235 from Ottawa to Winnipeg.  Little C has had enough of this vacation and has thrown down about EVERYTHING today.  Mid fit, we always remind her that she never gets her way when she's shacking out, but today, the world is against her.  We drew the line at 3 yogurts, I took away the lip chap after a solid two minutes of application and airport security wouldn't let her carry the bag of liquids containing said lip chap through the scanner.  Needless to say while she was trying to escape her seat belt on the plane, I offered her a piece of 'candy', and am now sitting here, enjoying some majorly deserved quiet time.  I never would have thought Gravol was a reasonable option for traveling toddlers.  But like many, my best parenting was done before I had kids.

Even though I've got some pretty good kids, traveling with them is not always easy.  We're heading home from a two week Canadian adventure and we could not have done it without the help and generosity of some pretty awesome people. So I'm going to treat this post, like a really big thank you note.

I'll start with our dear friends who made it possible for us to fly with a WestJet Friends and Family discount.  Driving would have killed me, I'm sure of it.  You guys rule.

Second is my sister and her mechanic boyfriend, who not only took our sweet Jack for the entire time, but also fixed the brakes on our car.  Talk about service!  I should get Jack to the vet this week, I'm sure he's run off all his peanut butter sandwich weight!

Thank you to my father in law, who drove us to YWG at an ungodly hour on Day 1.  Few things would get him up that early.  I hope you had a great round of golf, Papa!

WestJet.  You make traveling with kids much more tolerable.  Thank you first, for keeping our seats together and not forcing a seat change fee on us like we've had on other airlines.  Second, thank you for only joking about losing our luggage.

To the man in the brown sport coat who (might have) *actually* enjoyed sitting beside Big C:  I wish only good things for you for many years to come!  BD is not a comfortable flyer and would much rather sit, palms sweaty with his eyes closed and a blanket over his head, so your help meant the world to this Mama who was worrying about her three babies.  I'm also supposed to tell you that she finally found K-R-I-S-T-O-F-F in her search a word.  There is so much good in this world.  Thank you for showing kindness and warmth to my family.  (And I'm crying while I write this - get me home, I'm tired!)

Our hosts in Longueuil made our Canadian adventure a lot more 'french.'  As always, the girls treasure their time with you.  Thank you for helping us drive in that ridiculously confusing city of Montreal and for opening your home to the noise and chaos of our family.  Yay for poutine!

We found an adorable little breakfast shop in Collingwood called the Old Red Hen.  The very greek owner/head chef made sure we knew he appreciated our business and stopped by our table to ask the girls for some fresh artwork.  Once again, under the security of their parents, our girls felt warmth and friendship from a stranger.  I could not be happier about it.

The reason behind our trip, was a family wedding.  The hotel staff in Walkerton made our stay feel as close to home as possible.  Then again, it might have been because we met up with my in-laws and we were able to dump the kids on them for a night.  We always appreciate that!

I'd like to thank the Queen and Groom for making our girls feel special on your big day, and to the DJ for keeping both girls on the dance floor all night.  They both slept in the next morning!

Mother Nature - YOU RULE!  We were in Niagara Falls for two days and you brought the sun and heat when we needed it!  I can't imagine what our boat ride to the falls would have been like had it been cold and windy.  My 'thrill of a lifetime' was about perfect.  It certainly made up for our $80 iHop breakfast.  Thanks lady!

Marineland - you did not disappoint!  We, along with the other 150 people in the park, really enjoyed our time with you!  We didn't have to pay for up close encounters because no one was around and everything was up close!  I know this would be written differently if your mile wide walking paths and amusement park rides had been full of people.  Everyone looooooooooves Marineland!  (Bahaha!  Now you're going to sing it all damn day too!)

After two hours of trying to find a reasonable hotel in Toronto, I had given up on seeing the Blue Jays.  Thank you to BD for putting your foot down and making us go.  Our hotel might have been far away, but 9 hours downtown Toronto wasn't THAT bad!  (Plus, we spent time at the Ripley's Aquarium - everyone should go there - it was amazing!)  The game was also very exciting.  So yeah, I love ya.  Even with that gross patch of face hair.

To our family in Ottawa:  you lent us your car and welcomed us into your home.  Our very off-schedule children kept you up late and lovingly tortured the cats for 3 solid days.  I was so happy to visit Parliament Hill at such a beautiful time of year and those Beaver Tails were everything I hoped and dreamed.  I can't believe how lucky we were to stumble across Rib Fest too!  Thank you, we love you!

***

More than ever I am so proud to be Canadian.  We are so lucky to live in such a beautiful, free country and I hope that you get to see as much of it as possible. 

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S

I've Got A Lot To Learn In Little Time

I made a Norwex delivery to one of my favorite customers this afternoon.  She is a past hostess from last year and I just LOVE talking to her.  She and her family are some of the most easy-going, friendly, people I have ever met.  They live in South Osborne and their old home has all the beautiful characteristics that an old home should have.  When you walk in to their house, you feel comfortable immediately.  It’s a level of wholesome that is hard to describe.  Like, I barely know them, but I just want to curl up on their sofa by the fireplace and catch up.  Their house is so calm and relaxed and you can really feel the love in their family and the respect that they have for one another.    And here’s the crazy thing – their house is full of teenagers. 

I totally have parenting skills envy for these people.  Let me know if you’ve heard of this before, because I can’t possibly me making this feeling up.

When I first met her, my first thought was that she was very busy.  She told me to “call her” in 5 months and she’d book a party.  If you know anything about Direct Sales, you know that that is usually the nice way of blowing off a consultant.  But if you know anything about the way I run my business, you know I’ll call.  And when I called, she ANSWERED – which is another big deal in the world of Direct Sales.  And sure enough, like she promised, this busy woman booked a party.

So one June evening, I made my way to her place about 45 minutes before the party was scheduled to start.  No one was coming to the door when I rang the bell and I was starting to get my panic on, when the teenage boy cutting the lawn across the street turned off the mower and yelled ‘just go in, she’s probably upstairs’.  When she joined me at the entrance a few minutes later, I told her the kid across the street said to come in and she said that he was her son, he shovels their walk too.

While I was setting up, I met her husband, who was not overly excited about cleaning products, but certainly wanted to be polite to the guest in his home.  I also had a nice chat with her daughter, who was preparing for a speech she had to give at her Girl Guides meeting that night.  I don’t really remember the purpose of the speech but I think she was being tested, or it meant some sort of level graduation or something.  She confessed how nervous she was about public speaking and even in my presence she was comforted and motivated by not only her parents, but her brother too.  (And here I thought her brother was cutting the neighbors lawn – surprise!  There was twin boys.  Three kids, I’m sure less than 2 years apart.)

The kids vanished for the presentation, but slowly made their way back when I was done speaking.  The boys and I had a discussion about the environment and the daughter was hands-on into the cloths and the mop, making sure the Superior Dry Pad would do the trick on the stairs.  After all, the floors were her responsibility.  I was on the threshold of overstaying my welcome that night.  The kids just kept talking to me, and I couldn’t get enough.  It went from Norwex relevant to funny family stories from the lake.  When I left, they all said goodbye with ‘nice to meet you’ and ‘hope to see you again.’  I got home late, my head was spinning and my heart was full.

About one week later when I went back to deliver the party order, again, no one came to the front door when I rang the bell.  This time, I knew better and went around back where I found everyone out on the deck, laughing and enjoying themselves over a family game of Scrabble.

HOW ARE THESE PARENTS DOING IT?  (Also – can I play Scrabble too?)

I don’t even think I’m being conceited when I say that BD and I have M-A-S-T-E-R-E-D this phase of life that we’re in right now.  I mean, this ‘toddler to early years school’ is where I could stay for a looooong time.  I know that I’m a pro, because I am able to admit and acknowledge every time I screw up.  And after 5 years of experience with 4 different kids, those screw ups happen a little less every year.  But I am so scared of my life 10 years from now.  The girls already show signs of bitchiness and attitude that I am positive I am not equipped to handle.  I don’t think I was a horrible teenager I mean, I was moody – but I had good friends and sports to keep me out of trouble.  I think my parents were pretty lucky with me...

***We interrupt this messages with a special announcement - a big THANK YOU to Google, for being just techy enough that my Mom can't figure out how to leave a comment.***

...but I know they also worked hard at keeping me in check.  Considering I am (only now) realizing that the world *might not* revolve around me, and that I am probably the most dramatic, non-acting, person on the planet, BD and I are in. for. it.

Teenage me.  A candid shot of Bossy McBosserson. 

Today, when I went to deliver another order, I met one of two of their exchange students (there are now 5 teenagers in that home.)  And while I was chatting with him, (he’s from France and is really quite charming)...one of the twins spoke to Big C about how much he enjoyed grade 2 and how the math will start to get interesting and he encouraged her to read a lot.  Really??!  You are a teenage boy!  Why are you good with kids?  Why can you inspire an adult?  What does your Mom feed you?  WILL YOU BABYSIT MY KIDS?!

Our girls were ‘perfect’ for us until they started to go to school, where they learned to not eat their crusts and that talking about poop and farts all the time doesn't get old.  You’re laughing if you don’t have school aged kids, and you’re nodding if you do.  Kids suck a little more with every school day.  They’ll learn to read and write and come home rolling their eyes and saying horrible things like ‘Mom, you’re so cray cray.’  So what’s the trick?  How do you keep them close, so that when they’re in high school they’ll spend their summer nights playing Scrabble with you on the deck; yet still give them enough space that they can hang out with their friends like normal kids? 

I’m sure there are many great teenagers out there.  There has to be, right?  Even if Instagram will have us believe that all teenagers are egocentric, selfie taking, smart phone addicts who lack communication skills, I choose to remain hopeful that it is possible to raise respectful, polite, interesting teenagers who aspire to do ‘big things’ with their lives.  Good God I hope we can do that for our girls.  Even if that ‘big thing’ means always being kind to everyone.   I just need to figure out how to do it!!  Maybe I should go force myself on this family a little more.  How many ‘drop ins’ until I get creepy?

S

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