Daycare Schmaycare

I found out today, that my youngest daughter was placed in morning Kindergarten next year, when I asked for afternoons, because of the daycare restrictions of other families.  The afternoon classes filled up first because those kids have morning daycare spots available to them and we all know that securing a daycare spot pulls rank over any other situation. (EYE ROLL)  I am so flippin tired of the daycare system!  

I have been on both sides of the fence.  I have been a parent paying for childcare and I have been paid to care for children.  One of the reasons I think the system is so tainted is because childcare providers deserve waaaaaaaay more money, but when our daughter was being cared for, we couldn’t afford to pay more!

If childcare providers were paid more, maybe there would be more of them because that’s the real problem.  There is not enough GOOD childcare in Manitoba.

I chose not to license my home ‘daycare’ because a) I didn’t want to go through the process and b) there was no way I was ever going to fit 7 kids in my tiny house/yard.  Not to mention, some of the rules and regulations do not jive with my parenting choices.  So the only rule I follow is a very strict one.  I cannot have more than 4 kids (including my own) in my care at any given time.  To be clear, my 15 year old neighbor can babysit the family of 6 down the street while their mom is working the night shift and that is perfectly fine.  But if I was being paid to watch 3 kids and my two kids were home, I would risk being shut down, despite parental permission.  All it would take, was one bitchy neighbor.  I have no idea how many people are out there, entirely capable like me, unlicensed watching 4, but imagine what would happen if the rules changed to 5, or parental consent became a factor!  How many more spaces would open up?  

I only know a few things about being licensed, but one of the most shocking is that if you decide to collect government grants, there is a maximum fee you can charge.  $22.20 under 2 and $18.80 for older kids.  (For the record, 4 children over 2 would work out to less than $8.00/hour – with the grant, AT MOST $12/hour – 50 hour weeks, no overtime)  I understand this being helpful for low income families that require subsidy, but if you have a family in your care whose payments are not subsidized, they are getting a maaaaajor break.  In some cases, they are paying less than HALF of what other families are paying.  And my mildly educated opinion is that because the ‘waiting lists are so long’ and there is such a shortage of availability, those spots should ONLY be held by families that need the help.  The grant money is already allotted based on the number of children requiring subsidy anyways.  In my ‘daycare community’ a discussion popped up on this topic.  “...centres get alot more money then homes do, as far as grant money goes. People also think we get reimbursed for the money we spend on crafts and toys but we don't. The grant money should be for that but most of us need it as the supplement for our rates being so low.  The part that sucks is that once my infants are 2 they are preschool so I either take a pay hit or look for a new infant for another year and make a family look for a new place. That sucks”

I have really wonderful daycare families!!  They are good to me.  Random acts of love, flexible schedules, well behaved children.  The thing is I am really good to them too.  I only charge for part time care, I don’t charge for stats or holidays and I have never taken a sick day!  That said, babysitting is not my sole source of income.  The truth is, if it was, I couldn’t afford to give that flexibility.  My friends will often hear me talking about how there is no money in daycare.  Especially with my own kids in my care.  And while I’m sure the families who are cutting my cheques every month feel differently, I actually don’t bring in that much income. After I pay my insane grocery bill and look after the wear and tear on my house.  (Ooohhh the wear and tear on my house!!!) there isn’t a whole lot left!  That is why so many home daycare providers require non refundable deposits, take paid holidays & stats, charge teachers for the summer, don’t accept part-time clients etc.  And because spaces are so limited across the board, daycare providers hold all the cards and parents simply have to work with them.  This isn’t surprising because as a parent, once you find a childcare provider that compliments your parenting strategy, you will bend over backwards to keep them happy.  It’s an accomplishment enough to find a spot, nevermind find a spot that you’re HAPPY with!  

We have never had our kids in a daycare center and I have never worked in a center, so I’m not sure I can provide a fair opinion but I can sure as hell rant and boy oh boy am I in the mood!   It is very clear the ‘wait list’ the government created to solve all the problems has done absolutely nothing and unless you know somebody or get your name on a list 3 years before you become pregnant you are SOL.  When I was calling for my oldest daughter 7 years ago, one woman actually laughed at me!  So when you DO get a spot in a center, then your entire world revolves around that spot.  If you’re lucky enough to get in to a daycare in your child’s school, you’ll only pay for the portion of the day you are usuing, but if it’s a center that transports (additional fee for transport) unless you can find a family to time-share with you for half day Kindergarten, it is quite likely you will be paying for a full spot, even if you don’t require one. 

Can’t anyone see that no one is winning?  THANK GOD FOR GRANDPARENTS.

 

Here is what we need: 

1. Full day Kindergarten
2. Before and After School Programs in ALL THE SCHOOLS

I have no idea what my future holds.  My youngest is starting Kindergarten and I am already worrying about the difficulty of next year.  Because of her class time, I will be hauling the daycare kids, to and from school (unwalkable in winter) three times/day.  All because 35+ families have no flexibility with their daycare.  Uuuggghhh!  

Thank you for listening.  I almost feel better!  End rant.

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What Mommy REALLY Wanted for Christmas

When I am wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it is never more clear to me what I ACTUALLY want for Christmas. I am a VERY thoughtful gift giver.  So thoughtful in fact, that I often find myself thinking about buying two of the thoughtful gifts I pick up for other people during the holidays.  One Lava Seat for Grandma when she's at the rink watching the girls, one for me.  One bottle of my favorite perfume for my sister, one for me.  One personalized Christmas Tree ornament for my #1 Baby Daddy, one for #1 Mom too.  It's not that I don't get thoughtful gifts. It's just that every year, like a typical Mom, when people ask me what I want, I list things that fall into two main categories:

1.  It's easy to find/buy/shop for, I know how busy everyone is this time of year,
2.  It will help me Mommy.

I know you guys get this because I have friends that have asked for zoo memberships, diaper bags & strollers and baby carriers for various holiday gifts.  WHY DO WE DO IT?  It's a sickness!  Frick!!!!

My mom was disappointed that I asked for a handheld vacuum this year, but I have to tell you, my back entrance takes a beating every day, so I really AM looking forward to keeping up with the constant foot traffic!  Would I love a freshwater pearl necklace?  Yes!  But for some damn reason, I asked for a vacuum.  I also asked for yoga pants, hair ties and ski mitts.  I SHIT YOU NOT.  Why?  Why?  WHY?

So now, hidden behind this computer, with another set of holidays passed, I'm going to get ballsy and share what I ACTUALLY WANT you to get me.  It's not a list of things I never get, it's a list of things I want you to give me because I want them more often.  I won't say that this list is on behalf of all mothers everywhere, but I will let you share this post if you think it's worthy.  Especially because a lot of these are the best kind of gifts.  The 'stuff-free' kind.  Important to also note that these ideas are not just for Christmas.  I WANT THEM FOR EVERYTHING.  Get ready.

MOMMY'S TOP TWELVE GIFT IDEAS

(get her what she actually wants next year)

12.  Baby Daddy (BD):  I want you to let me pick the dumbest most mind numbing show on Netflix and I want you to sit beside me and pretend to be OK with me wasting 40 minutes a week on your precious clicker controlling time.  And even if you don't really watch it or can't pretend to like it, you are not allowed to leave the room or make comments about it's pointlessness.  I watch hockey all the time.  And you think I like it, don't you?

11.  Anyone:  Clean my van.  Take out the car seats, vacuum out the cheerios and french fries, wipe the coffee drips off of everything, and clean the dog/kid snot off of every window.  Make that baby sparkle!!! 

10.  BD:  I want you to take me somewhere where we all have to be dressed up.  Somewhere that if I showed up with day-old ponytail hair and no makeup I'd feel uncomfortable.  I want to wear lipstick and boots and I WANT TO WEAR SPANX DAMMIT!  I want you to tell me I look beautiful so that I feel beautiful.  And I want you to dress up too, so that we can look and feel like the power couple I know we are.  And I want you to invite alllllll our friends, so that they too can see how beautiful we look and that yeah, THIS MAMA'S STILL GOT IT.

9.  Anyone but BD:  I want you to surprise us all the time with random 'pick up the kids' visits.  Do you know what a few mid-afternoon hours can do for a couple of parents with little kids?  First, it gives you a much better chance of having more grandchildren/nieces/nephews!!!  Second, I just really need the kids to be gone so I can start cleaning ahead of them, instead of always behind them.

8.  BD & the kids:  Oh man do I ever want a Laundry-Folding House Elf.  And if you get me the Deluxe Edition that puts it away too, I promise to stop complaining about Mount. Washmore!  I know that this one will be hard to find, so I would settle for you noticing I can't get to my bed for laundry baskets full of clean clothes and instead of digging for a clean pair of underwear, you could just fold a basket for me! Ding ding ding!

7.  Anyone:  I want all the cutsie stuff that the kids and I make you!  I want a fabric painted apron and a personalized calendar.  I want a dishwasher safe coffee mug that has a funny family picture on it and a craft made of sea glass from our special day on the beach.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending that time with the kids, but crafting something special for someone is about as relaxing as a P.A.P.  So I'd really love the end result without all the mess!  Please?

6.  BD & the kids:  Give me a 9 hour work day.  Pick a random day and let me punch out at 5:00 like the rest of the world.  Being officially off the clock means I don't have to clean up supper, drive anyone anywhere, break up any fights, help anyone with homework, force anyone to brush their teeth, find any blankies, put anyone back in bed, make anyone a snack. And miraculously all these things will get done with me sitting on the couch, or doing a puzzle, drinking a cup of tea or reading a book.  Or better yet, maybe even having fun with the kids.

5.  Anyone:  Surprise me with dinner.  When you know I'm having a shitty day, (every. single. Monday.) show up at the end of the day either WITH dinner or with the idea that we're going to order dinner.  Just make it so that I don't have to cook and/or clean up the kitchen for the 5th time that day.

4.  Anyone but BD and the kids:  One word.  Sleepover!  Date nights are great and always much needed and enjoyed, but I'm going to go one step further and ask for a scheduled in advance SLEEPOVER!  We love normal date nights, but sleepover date nights are soooooooooooo much better because we have time to nap.  And I don't mean NAP *wink wink wink,* I mean a 'get my jammies on, get under the covers and catch up on sleep' kind of nap, so that we can actually enjoy our date.  And in the morning, in case we’re hungover, or better yet, we want to NAP *wink wink wink* we can and we will!

3. Anyone:  I would go absolutely apeshit over a once/month cleaning service.  I would even go as far as to tell you 'what time of the month' would maximize Mommy shack out prevention.  This gift idea is particularly awesome for families celebrating the birth of a second + child too.  And unlike gift idea #2, this desire will never fade with time.  Just do it.  And the world will be a better place, especially because I will teach them the ways of Norwex.

2.  (I wasn’t really sure where to put this one on the list because 3 years ago there was nothing I wanted more, but now that the kids sleep through the night, my desperation has faded a little.)  Anyone:  I want you to rent me a hotel room.  Just for me.  And I will order room service, take a hot bubble bath, walk around naked all night, and I will fall asleep at 10:00 pm while watching True Tori and taking up the entire bed. When I wake up in the morning after sleeping the entire night through, I will stay in bed until 10 minutes before check out when I will walk out of the room without making the damn bed.  OK, forget it.  I know exactly what number this one needs to be on.

1.  BD & the kids:  I need all of you to find something to do, away from the house for 4 hours every second weekend for an entire year.  When I’m strung out, you usually think I need to get out, but the truth is, I like being home.  I just need to be alone.  I will turn everything off.  I will clean and actually make headway.  And yeah, I will take a nap, but when I get up, I will take a long, hot shower and I will have time to SHAVE MY LEGS.  Then I’ll pour myself a cup of tea and stare at a wall for a little while.  And then I’ll probably bake/cook something extraordinary for the family, because when I’m happy, you alllllllll benefit.

Or you can get me booze.  Always a safe bet.

S

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